NARWHAL
The horniest of all legends.
It’s uncommon to have an animal in our vast kingdom that is so bizarre, some people don’t think it exists until they see a picture. For many, the narwhal is that creature. That’s why it’s this month’s creature feature, and in fact why its beautifully weird form graces the fabric of one of our flagship Myth Shirts. But to track the origin of these guys, we have to look well beyond Folklord apparel. We need to journey Medieval Times—grab the Cornish hens and meet us there!
Hi again! You made it! So, where were we? Ah yes! Medieval Times. These old-timey European aristocrats loved the ornate splendor of a good fairy tale. Faraway lands and magical beasts proliferated their literature—so much so that they believed one in particular existed for real: the unicorn. Imagine you’re a king or queen and feeling a bit under the weather from constant warring, eating cake or marrying your sibling. Simply shave off a little unicorn horn to cure what ails ya! Queen Elizabeth I herself was actually known to drink from a golden goblet carved from a unicorn horn for its supposed purification properties.
At this point you might be thinking, “Of course, this all checks out.” But the more inquisitive reader might offer a counter argument: unicorns don’t exist! So why was ol’ Betsy drinking from some tchotchke you might pick up at a Renaissance Fest? Well, first off, those are two different historical periods. But second, would you believe these royals had the wool pulled over their eyes by their Arctic cousins?
Narwhals were hunted in Northern Europe, as their tusks (actually an extended tooth) were beloved by Scottish and Danish rulers. These guys knew full well what they were getting. But when asked about the exotic esoterica by wealthy European elite, Arctic hunters and traders then turned around and said, “Uh, yeah. Totally. That’s a genuine unicorn horn alright! Boy howdy!” (This Southern dialect was used solely for affectation and color; there is no evidence they talked like that.)
But before you go thinking these Scandinavians were so scientifically high and mighty, their own ancient lore told of an interesting, less-equine origin of the narwhal. They believed narwhals were once women, sirens of the sea, who twisted their long hair into a braid that resembled the iconic tusk. You could say narwhals were in fact the original mermaids, as they were mistaken as such by Norse people for hundreds of years. The Norse word nár means “corpse,” which could be an allusion to its human origins or more of a portent of the watery grave sailors mind be lured to if they followed one.
Just as narwhals look like the combination of the odds and ends pieces at an animal factory, so too is their folklore a briny stew of various origins and recollections. A tasty one, too! Slurp slurp.
See you out there.
